Mr.Bin Laden

*Note: This is random rubbish that was floating in my head. I might refine it and use it for something else later. Pardon how pointless it is. It could also be inaccurate as the whole thing is from vauge memories of what I've read over the years.*

Mr.Bin Laden was originally a multi-millionaire Saudi playboy, his family wealthy enough to know the Royal House of Saud on a personal level. Despite attending an eite secular school, his upbringing in an orthodox Wahhabi house brought him close to Islam in his days as a university student. By the time he was won over by not only fundamental Islam but also by maverick theories that women and children can be killed in Jihad, his faith was so powerful that he abandoned the best luxuries money could buy to go fight for his religion. Convinced his mission in life was to do Allah's bidding, it was during the Soviet-Afghan war that Mr Bin Laden rose to fame when, trained and armed by the CIA, he played an instrumental role in the Mujahideen movement that drove the Soviet Army out of the country.

Not many heard from him once the Soviets retreated and he returned to Saudi Arabia (hailed by the press as a national hero). But in 1991, Kuwait was invaded by Saddam Hussein and sent the Saudi royal family into panic. When they invited the Americans to their soil (thus providing a military base in the region for the USA and absolute security for the Saudis), Mr.Laden pleaded with the House of Saud not to let the "infidels" enter the holy land. He offered his services as a replacement but was rejected outright. Furious that the USA was being allowed to establish a military presence in the region, Bin Laden declared "jihad" on Saudi Arabia and fled to Sudan via Pakistan.

The Sudanese were glad to have a folk-hero like Mr.Laden on their soil. But reunited with his notorious friend Al-Zawahiri, he joined the Egyptian Islamic Jihad organisation, leading to his participation in 1995 in the failed attempt to assassinate Hosni Mubarak, the Egyptian President. Embarassed by the incident and put under immense pressure by the international community, the Sudanese administration had no choice but to make Bin Laden leave, especially after the horrifying bombing of the Al-Shifa pharmaceutical plant (executed by the Clinton administration and resulting in an unprecedented catastrophe for the country).

Moving to Afghanistan this time, Mr.Laden and Mr.Zawahiri became fast friends with the new Taliban government under Mullah Omar. The two even murdered Omar's nemesis Shah Massoud by sending suicide bombers to meet him disguised as Belgian journalists. Though grateful, Mullah Omar soon discovered that the act of generosity was a subtle trap from Bin Laden. Two days later, the World Trade Centre went down. Bound by the favour done for him by Zawahiri and Laden, the Taliban leader was unable to ask them to leave.

And the story from there, as anybody who watches TV or reads the papers would know, is history. Moral of the story: Even when someone kills your arch-enemy with suicide bombers, save your ass before saving his.